Hi Eryn. You chose a very unique way to do an introduction, good for you. It's always fun to explore the boundaries of storytelling, and think of new and creative ways to do this. I think it would still be a good idea to have an introduction to your story, and use the friend list as a reference rather than the full introduction. Although this is a very nice an clever idea, it does not give me a whole lot of insight as to what your story is actually about. Do you lions interact with each other and have a series of adventures with each other? How much is the story affected by your characters? Just a thought.. I think it would be hilarious in you included a pun about a lion with Pride in your story somewhere, since a group of lions is called a pride. I did enjoy Leopold's last statement, he is very bold and upfront about looking for a lady friend.
This is an interesting introduction. I have to admit I love lions so any excuse to look at pictures of lions is pretty great. I particularly love Leo. I like the memorial for Leonardo too. I am going to assume these lions are going to be fighting between each other. King of separate quadrants seems like it is going to be a tense situation, though I may be reading too much into it. It is an interesting set up for the storybook, doing a yearbook/facebook kind of thing. It should be an interesting storybook, it’s very unique. I like the fact that you’ve put in links. I don’t know how you did that but I liked the “Continue as Simba” link. I will admit that I am really confused on how your story is going to work. I like that you already have set characters and everything but I’m not sure how it’s going to work. It will be interesting to see how your storybook develops.
Eryn, what an interesting choice you have decided on for you storybook! I instantly could see the connection between your storybook and facebook; I would have never thought to do something like this! I really like how easy you have made it to see all the friend and family connections between each lion and providing links to quickly go between them. I am very curious how this style you have chosen will play out; I will definitely be checking back towards to the end to see how this was completed! I love the creativity here!
Hey Eryn! I thought your introduction for Manebook was so creative! It’s really cool how you made it look like an online website for lions by having a separate page for each of the characters. I like that we are able to click on each individual page and really get to know each of the characters we’ll be reading about in the future! It was smart of you to put a “Family and Relationship” section to each page so the reader doesn’t get confused and is able to put together how they’re all related to each other. I think Leo might be my favorite lion you wrote about because he seems like he still enjoys life even though he recently lost his wife a few years ago. I also thought it was sweet how Leonardo had a page even though he had passed away and that it was there for people to send their condolences. I’m really excited to see your stories as the semester goes on!
Hey Eryn! I love how you added a weather widget to your blog. It is useful and sets your blog apart from others. I also like how your labels are formatted by size. How did you do that?? That looks way better than my random arrangement on my page haha!
First of all, I love the concept of your storybook! That’s so clever to format it like a Facebook page. I didn’t really know you were doing that when I first clicked on it; I just saw that I was “logged in as Simba,” and I was kind of confused, but I also thought it was neat, and as I explored (and of course, read the intro), I figured it out and just thought it was awesome!
I loved the phrase you used in Leo’s second post, “two-legged beast enemies” to describe humans. It was a great way to see humans from a lion’s perspective, and it was so over-the-top, it was funny, too. Leopold’s comments are great too, I love how they add extra perspective and flair to the “story” in the newsfeed.
Thanks for including your synopsis of the original stories. I thought you gave a really great explanation of what you were working with. I do, however, think you COULD expand on the story! I don’t know about you…but “accidentally” squishing the mouse beneath her paw after she obviously wasn’t dying to marry him seems kind of suspicious to me… maybe a detective story is in order? :p
Hi Eryn! I chose your storybook as my free choice this week. I chose your storybook because "Manebook" caught my attention. I liked how you made a spoof off of Facebook. Your storybook is actually quite unique from the other storybooks that I've read. Firstly, your layout of your storybook is different and creative. You've actually made a social media site that was just for lions. I wonder if lions are supposed to be top tier which is why the reader had to make a fake profile to be undercover. Is this how the animal social ladder works? I liked the idea that you're trying out, but I'm confused of what story you're trying to tell. Your introduction said I would find out more about the lives on the lion, which I can read some of it in the about me section, but I'm lost on the plot. I hope I can read some retelling of Aesop's stories through the lions' point of view or something like that. Other than that I think you have a strong start.
Hey Eryn! It took me a second to realize what your storybook was but when I did I have to say it made me laugh. What a great idea, I really like how it is making animals seem modern. I look forward to hearing some of the stories that are associated with the different lions. What if you made some of the lions fit stereotypes of people on Facebook. Maybe one lion could always be talking about his life and the drama that is going on? Or a lion could be always posting about politics and national issues with their animal kingdom? I like how creative your idea is, it makes me want to think more creatively about my stories and storybook. I like how you showed Leonardo's page and how it was sort of a space to remember him. I promise I won't leave a negative comment haha. I also thought it was funny how some of the lions were looking for mates and they said to direct message them if any of the ladies were interested. Maybe you could do a story where one goes on a date with a lioness he met through his page and it goes horribly wrong or she is very weird. I really liked your storybook though, awesome job!
A great taste of music for sure! I and my wife love to listen to music that is played by only instruments. My wife also plays cello, so I had to love this choice of music because I am familiar with cello sound as well! I think it was just a great music also. No words needed but I can tell what was going on in the music video. The music was great and interesting while the video was great as well. I think you did a great job for your blog music!
This is a cool idea. I have heard many remakes of songs, it is a neat idea to do it with instruments. I especially like the cello of the first song. I played the violin in orchestra, but I have always thought the cello was a beautiful sounding instrument. I think I would find this a little distracting while studying though, I tend to like very calm background music for studying since something too interesting like this will distract me.
Hi Eryn! I love 2CELLOS and the Vitamin String Quartet--really, though, I love instrumental remakes of songs in general, because I can listen to them while writing! If it has lyrics then I end up typing the lyrics instead of the words, or I just can't even think of words to write! It's a problem, because music is one of the few things that can make me sit still long enough to finish writing anything substantial! Same thing with reading. If you like AC/DC and Guns and Roses, then you might like the Vitamin String Quartet version of Dragonforce's Through the Fire and Flames, which is the reason why I like Dragonforce now (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjufc7GMrCs)! But you introduced me to some new ones (I didn't even think to check for Beatles versions), so thanks for that!
Hey again, Eryn! I didn't realize that I was in a group with you this week for the projects! I think that your Storybook is hilarious--I really liked how you based it off of various versions of social media, and I really, really liked the Newsfeed with the made-up Facebook posts and comments--I've always thought that someone should write an electronic book based off of a Facebook format, because of the potential for all the relationships it could show, and also for the potential for hilariousness! The only critiques I can think to give are that I saw where you were going with the name scheme, but all of those L's are really hard on this name-challenged person who is also really bad at memorizing lists, so I had a hard time keeping all of the lions and their relationships to each other straight. You might want to find some sort of way to make a family tree, instead of or in addition to your current format? Just an idea...but, like I said, I REALLY enjoyed your Storybook all around, and I look forward to seeing what you add to it in the future!
Hey Eryn! Your music video is very different from anyone else’s I have seen! I love that you incorporated a playlist that you personally use when you study. I also really enjoyed listening to it. I would have never know that Cellos alone could really sound like the original song “ Smooth Criminal.” The video is actually really fun to watch as well!
Hi Eryn! I was a bit lost when I first clicked on your storybook, but once I figured it out, brilliant! I never would have thought to make a storybook like facebook. It is an interesting twist and a great way to retell the fables and stories about lions. I'm glad you put their "about" page to explain a bit about who is in the stories. I hope I can keep up with all the L names. But I would have done the same thing. I liked your retelling of Leo's story. I do wish that there was a post between the announcement of the marriage and the mouse's death. Or maybe a bit more about the circumstances that led to his death. Suddenly saying she stepped on him makes his death sound suspicious. I really liked your story and I look forward to reading more. I can't wait to read the finished project.
Hey Eryn! I really enjoyed reading your story on Manebook this week! It’s very clever how you combined the two Aesop’s Fables to create your story. I also really love how you told the story through Facebook it’s so creative! You did a great job at making it seem so real with Leo’s family and friends liking and commenting on his status’. I couldn’t believe that Leo actually allowed his daughter to marry a mouse! I laughed a little at the thought of a lion and mouse living together. You did a good job at keeping it realistic and even added some humor when you had Ariel accidentally post her comment twice because her “large paw” hit the enter key twice! The way you formatted the posts and comments made it easy for the reader to keep up with the story and maintain focused on what was going on. I look forward to reading more stories! Great Job!
Hey Eryn! I really liked your storytelling idea! The Manebook was a really nice surprise! I always enjoy reading stories that are in a way different format or a different approach from all the others since it breaks up the assignments a little bit!
I thought using statuses to tell the story was a really good idea! It told the story in a way that is so relatable to students today and is super easy to read. It didn't even feel like reading a whole story since I could so quickly read through the statuses. However, it didn't forfeit any of the story at all! I could read the whole thing in a matter of minutes. It was wonderful!
Format wise, the site was a little difficult to navigate. I got confused on what was a story verus profiles and stuff. I also had a hard time determining what was just an image versus a link. I also got confused on whether the profiles counted as stories or how they tied into the story? Maybe, to eliminate confusion, you could include profiles for just the characters that you would be addressing in the storybook? Are you going to create content for all of them?
Overall great idea! Good luck with the rest of your storytelling!
Hello, Eryn. I was really impressed with your storybook. The first word that came out from my mouth was 'wow' when I first clicked on your storybook. I did not expect the image of lion, a good and an awesome image of lion, in front of the storybook page. I really like the image of the lion because it is just awesome and intense. I could see what you were going to talk about along with your title for your storybook. I like how you made link to the friends list. It was great how I was logged in as Simba in the storybook! It was hilarious that you created a sentence that 'not you? click here' but you did not put any link so it was really nothing. I like how you put all those different pictures for your lions. They all look so awesome and because of those images of lions, I just really want to read your stories so it was a great job you did there. Good job!
Hi again Eryn! So much has changed since I last read your Storybook--but I like all the changes you've made! I think it was smart of you to completely change formats for the project, since there was already enough plot to support a larger story, and the fact that you did it on Facebook was just as hilarious to me reading it a second time, especially with the additional posts! The only thing I wondered while I read all of the posts was that posts was that I would have liked to see more development of relationships between the different characters in the comments--the comments you did end up putting in show the relationships between the person that posted them and Leo really well, but I wondered how they would all get along together...anyway, just a thought! Besides that I really liked how you had Ariel post twice--so much reality there; I have that problem all the time!--and that you changed "people" to "creatures" on the Likes button. Great job, and good luck for the rest of the semester!
Hi Eryn. You chose a very unique way to do an introduction, good for you. It's always fun to explore the boundaries of storytelling, and think of new and creative ways to do this.
ReplyDeleteI think it would still be a good idea to have an introduction to your story, and use the friend list as a reference rather than the full introduction. Although this is a very nice an clever idea, it does not give me a whole lot of insight as to what your story is actually about. Do you lions interact with each other and have a series of adventures with each other? How much is the story affected by your characters?
Just a thought.. I think it would be hilarious in you included a pun about a lion with Pride in your story somewhere, since a group of lions is called a pride.
I did enjoy Leopold's last statement, he is very bold and upfront about looking for a lady friend.
This is an interesting introduction. I have to admit I love lions so any excuse to look at pictures of lions is pretty great. I particularly love Leo. I like the memorial for Leonardo too. I am going to assume these lions are going to be fighting between each other. King of separate quadrants seems like it is going to be a tense situation, though I may be reading too much into it. It is an interesting set up for the storybook, doing a yearbook/facebook kind of thing. It should be an interesting storybook, it’s very unique. I like the fact that you’ve put in links. I don’t know how you did that but I liked the “Continue as Simba” link. I will admit that I am really confused on how your story is going to work. I like that you already have set characters and everything but I’m not sure how it’s going to work. It will be interesting to see how your storybook develops.
ReplyDeleteEryn, what an interesting choice you have decided on for you storybook! I instantly could see the connection between your storybook and facebook; I would have never thought to do something like this! I really like how easy you have made it to see all the friend and family connections between each lion and providing links to quickly go between them. I am very curious how this style you have chosen will play out; I will definitely be checking back towards to the end to see how this was completed! I love the creativity here!
ReplyDeleteHey Eryn! I thought your introduction for Manebook was so creative! It’s really cool how you made it look like an online website for lions by having a separate page for each of the characters. I like that we are able to click on each individual page and really get to know each of the characters we’ll be reading about in the future! It was smart of you to put a “Family and Relationship” section to each page so the reader doesn’t get confused and is able to put together how they’re all related to each other. I think Leo might be my favorite lion you wrote about because he seems like he still enjoys life even though he recently lost his wife a few years ago. I also thought it was sweet how Leonardo had a page even though he had passed away and that it was there for people to send their condolences. I’m really excited to see your stories as the semester goes on!
ReplyDeleteHey Eryn! I love how you added a weather widget to your blog. It is useful and sets your blog apart from others. I also like how your labels are formatted by size. How did you do that?? That looks way better than my random arrangement on my page haha!
ReplyDeleteHey Eryn,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I love the concept of your storybook! That’s so clever to format it like a Facebook page. I didn’t really know you were doing that when I first clicked on it; I just saw that I was “logged in as Simba,” and I was kind of confused, but I also thought it was neat, and as I explored (and of course, read the intro), I figured it out and just thought it was awesome!
I loved the phrase you used in Leo’s second post, “two-legged beast enemies” to describe humans. It was a great way to see humans from a lion’s perspective, and it was so over-the-top, it was funny, too.
Leopold’s comments are great too, I love how they add extra perspective and flair to the “story” in the newsfeed.
Thanks for including your synopsis of the original stories. I thought you gave a really great explanation of what you were working with. I do, however, think you COULD expand on the story! I don’t know about you…but “accidentally” squishing the mouse beneath her paw after she obviously wasn’t dying to marry him seems kind of suspicious to me… maybe a detective story is in order? :p
Hi Eryn! I chose your storybook as my free choice this week. I chose your storybook because "Manebook" caught my attention. I liked how you made a spoof off of Facebook. Your storybook is actually quite unique from the other storybooks that I've read. Firstly, your layout of your storybook is different and creative. You've actually made a social media site that was just for lions. I wonder if lions are supposed to be top tier which is why the reader had to make a fake profile to be undercover. Is this how the animal social ladder works? I liked the idea that you're trying out, but I'm confused of what story you're trying to tell. Your introduction said I would find out more about the lives on the lion, which I can read some of it in the about me section, but I'm lost on the plot. I hope I can read some retelling of Aesop's stories through the lions' point of view or something like that. Other than that I think you have a strong start.
ReplyDeleteHey Eryn! It took me a second to realize what your storybook was but when I did I have to say it made me laugh. What a great idea, I really like how it is making animals seem modern. I look forward to hearing some of the stories that are associated with the different lions. What if you made some of the lions fit stereotypes of people on Facebook. Maybe one lion could always be talking about his life and the drama that is going on? Or a lion could be always posting about politics and national issues with their animal kingdom? I like how creative your idea is, it makes me want to think more creatively about my stories and storybook. I like how you showed Leonardo's page and how it was sort of a space to remember him. I promise I won't leave a negative comment haha. I also thought it was funny how some of the lions were looking for mates and they said to direct message them if any of the ladies were interested. Maybe you could do a story where one goes on a date with a lioness he met through his page and it goes horribly wrong or she is very weird. I really liked your storybook though, awesome job!
ReplyDeleteA great taste of music for sure! I and my wife love to listen to music that is played by only instruments. My wife also plays cello, so I had to love this choice of music because I am familiar with cello sound as well! I think it was just a great music also. No words needed but I can tell what was going on in the music video. The music was great and interesting while the video was great as well. I think you did a great job for your blog music!
ReplyDeleteThis is a cool idea. I have heard many remakes of songs, it is a neat idea to do it with instruments. I especially like the cello of the first song. I played the violin in orchestra, but I have always thought the cello was a beautiful sounding instrument. I think I would find this a little distracting while studying though, I tend to like very calm background music for studying since something too interesting like this will distract me.
ReplyDeleteHi Eryn! I love 2CELLOS and the Vitamin String Quartet--really, though, I love instrumental remakes of songs in general, because I can listen to them while writing! If it has lyrics then I end up typing the lyrics instead of the words, or I just can't even think of words to write! It's a problem, because music is one of the few things that can make me sit still long enough to finish writing anything substantial! Same thing with reading. If you like AC/DC and Guns and Roses, then you might like the Vitamin String Quartet version of Dragonforce's Through the Fire and Flames, which is the reason why I like Dragonforce now (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjufc7GMrCs)! But you introduced me to some new ones (I didn't even think to check for Beatles versions), so thanks for that!
ReplyDeleteHey again, Eryn! I didn't realize that I was in a group with you this week for the projects! I think that your Storybook is hilarious--I really liked how you based it off of various versions of social media, and I really, really liked the Newsfeed with the made-up Facebook posts and comments--I've always thought that someone should write an electronic book based off of a Facebook format, because of the potential for all the relationships it could show, and also for the potential for hilariousness! The only critiques I can think to give are that I saw where you were going with the name scheme, but all of those L's are really hard on this name-challenged person who is also really bad at memorizing lists, so I had a hard time keeping all of the lions and their relationships to each other straight. You might want to find some sort of way to make a family tree, instead of or in addition to your current format? Just an idea...but, like I said, I REALLY enjoyed your Storybook all around, and I look forward to seeing what you add to it in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Eryn! Your music video is very different from anyone else’s I have seen! I love that you incorporated a playlist that you personally use when you study. I also really enjoyed listening to it. I would have never know that Cellos alone could really sound like the original song “ Smooth Criminal.” The video is actually really fun to watch as well!
ReplyDeleteHi Eryn! I was a bit lost when I first clicked on your storybook, but once I figured it out, brilliant! I never would have thought to make a storybook like facebook. It is an interesting twist and a great way to retell the fables and stories about lions. I'm glad you put their "about" page to explain a bit about who is in the stories. I hope I can keep up with all the L names. But I would have done the same thing. I liked your retelling of Leo's story. I do wish that there was a post between the announcement of the marriage and the mouse's death. Or maybe a bit more about the circumstances that led to his death. Suddenly saying she stepped on him makes his death sound suspicious. I really liked your story and I look forward to reading more. I can't wait to read the finished project.
ReplyDeleteHey Eryn! I really enjoyed reading your story on Manebook this week! It’s very clever how you combined the two Aesop’s Fables to create your story. I also really love how you told the story through Facebook it’s so creative! You did a great job at making it seem so real with Leo’s family and friends liking and commenting on his status’. I couldn’t believe that Leo actually allowed his daughter to marry a mouse! I laughed a little at the thought of a lion and mouse living together. You did a good job at keeping it realistic and even added some humor when you had Ariel accidentally post her comment twice because her “large paw” hit the enter key twice! The way you formatted the posts and comments made it easy for the reader to keep up with the story and maintain focused on what was going on. I look forward to reading more stories! Great Job!
ReplyDeleteHey Eryn! I really liked your storytelling idea! The Manebook was a really nice surprise! I always enjoy reading stories that are in a way different format or a different approach from all the others since it breaks up the assignments a little bit!
ReplyDeleteI thought using statuses to tell the story was a really good idea! It told the story in a way that is so relatable to students today and is super easy to read. It didn't even feel like reading a whole story since I could so quickly read through the statuses. However, it didn't forfeit any of the story at all! I could read the whole thing in a matter of minutes. It was wonderful!
Format wise, the site was a little difficult to navigate. I got confused on what was a story verus profiles and stuff. I also had a hard time determining what was just an image versus a link. I also got confused on whether the profiles counted as stories or how they tied into the story? Maybe, to eliminate confusion, you could include profiles for just the characters that you would be addressing in the storybook? Are you going to create content for all of them?
Overall great idea! Good luck with the rest of your storytelling!
Hello, Eryn. I was really impressed with your storybook. The first word that came out from my mouth was 'wow' when I first clicked on your storybook. I did not expect the image of lion, a good and an awesome image of lion, in front of the storybook page. I really like the image of the lion because it is just awesome and intense. I could see what you were going to talk about along with your title for your storybook. I like how you made link to the friends list. It was great how I was logged in as Simba in the storybook! It was hilarious that you created a sentence that 'not you? click here' but you did not put any link so it was really nothing. I like how you put all those different pictures for your lions. They all look so awesome and because of those images of lions, I just really want to read your stories so it was a great job you did there. Good job!
ReplyDeleteHi again Eryn! So much has changed since I last read your Storybook--but I like all the changes you've made! I think it was smart of you to completely change formats for the project, since there was already enough plot to support a larger story, and the fact that you did it on Facebook was just as hilarious to me reading it a second time, especially with the additional posts! The only thing I wondered while I read all of the posts was that posts was that I would have liked to see more development of relationships between the different characters in the comments--the comments you did end up putting in show the relationships between the person that posted them and Leo really well, but I wondered how they would all get along together...anyway, just a thought! Besides that I really liked how you had Ariel post twice--so much reality there; I have that problem all the time!--and that you changed "people" to "creatures" on the Likes button. Great job, and good luck for the rest of the semester!
ReplyDelete